Show vs. Tell

Writers hear this a lot: Show, don’t tell! And that’s great advice. It really is. But for new writers, what does this even mean?

In basic terms, "telling" means the author is giving the reader specific information as to how the character feels or what the expression on someone's face means, etc. Sounds reasonable, right? But "showing" means describing these things and allowing the reader to draw reasonable conclusions. It is showing how an emotion may present itself instead of just stating what that emotion is. Someone could be happy, or we can assume they're happy because that person is smiling. What would the point-of-view character be seeing? What ticks may give us clues as to what is being felt or thought of?

Showing pulls the reader into a scene by giving them ques to relate to. Typically, writers don't want readers to feel like they're watching a play. Instead, they want them to be part of that scene. They aren't watching the character; they may be the character.

Let’s start with an example. (Used with permission.)

Telling:

The man was nervous.

Showing:

The man was sweating. It slid sluggishly down his brow, his cheek, his jaw, before dripping off and splashing onto his breastplate where it continued the journey down. It didn’t matter it was still the middle of the night with a cool breeze blowing in from the window.

In the first example, we are told how the man feels. He’s nervous. Simple and to the point.

In the second example, we are told he’s sweating and then given a

description to visualize. We follow his sweat as it travels down his face and onto his breastplate. That could mean a few different things, but this is coupled with a detail about the environment. There’s a cool breeze. So, he’s less likely to be sweating because he’s hot, right?

We are not told anything about how the man is feeling. Instead, we’re painted a picture that gives us an impression. Why would someone sweat profusely even on a cool evening? A reasonable conclusion is that the man is nervous or scared.

This is telling vs. showing. Telling may be easy and quick, but it doesn’t paint a picture for the reader. It’s telling someone I’m hungry vs. that person hearing my stomach grumble.

You want your reader to sink into the tale. You can tell every aspect of a story, and some people may enjoy it. But if you describe it in a way they can see in their mind, they can feel the emotion, the cool breeze, whatever really sets the scene and allows them to feel like they’re in the story, you’ve drawn them in. They become invested.

Let’s try another example.

Telling:

       Susan sat on the cold bench to wait for Joe.

Showing:

Susan sat on the bench and immediately shivered. Did she forget to put pants on? A quick glance down and, no, those definitely looked like pants. Wow! How could her poor butt possibly endure this? If Joe made her wait long, he’d hear all about it while the fire department extracted her from the ice surely forming.

In the first example, we are told she’s sitting on a cold bench while she

waits for Joe. Again, simple.

In the second example, we are not told the bench is cold, but we are shown that it is. Susan feels the cold so much she thinks herself naked. Her poor butt! She must be uncomfortable. It’s likely the weather is chilly to make the bench so cool. Poor Susan has to wait. Hurry up, Joe!

We are shown not just that Susan is waiting on a cold bench. The scene is set with detail. We can sympathize as Susan is forced to wait. It isn’t just the bench that is cold. Now Susan is too. We may envision a chilly fall or winter day. On top of this, we are also given more of Susan’s personality. We are let into her head to see what she’s thinking and how she thinks. Susan is dramatic!

Of course, showing instead of telling draws out a scene. This is neither good nor bad. It depends on the scene. But you also don’t want to get carried away. The reader wants to sink into the character and story, but they don’t need everything in long, dramatic visions. “Show, don’t tell” is not to mean NEVER tell. Few things exist in black/white terms. The author needs to decide what is important in the scene, what they’re trying to get across, whose head they’re in, etc., and make a determination based on all that.

If Captain Clarkson sits in his chair and is about to ream out a lazy officer, we don’t have to know what his chair feels like or how he sat down. It’s not the point. The writer shouldn’t have him walking into his office and mention he’s already sitting halfway into his yelling. There should be clear transition and scene setting. But we the reader don’t need unnecessary extras. The point here is either how the officer screwed up or perhaps how tired of this frustration the captain is. Just sit him down and get to the juicy part!

In a first draft, just write. Get your story out. Let the showing and telling happen wherever they happen. But as you move on to revise, pay attention to what is being shown or told. Consider what is important for that scene. Showing vs. telling, and finding the right balance, takes practice. Writing coaches, writing groups, beta readers, and editors are all there to help a writer in this endeavor.